Ideas Never Die
by D Leigh
Summary: Thoughts of the Beast torment Rose, postSatan Pit. Unfinished, on hiatus
1. The Beast

Rose Tyler wanted to close her eyes and keep them closed for a very long time. Her arms were tightly clamped around the Doctor's shoulders, and she felt his around her waist, lifting her off the ground. The clung to each other as if they would never let go, and with good reason.

I almost lost 'im, Rose thought. She buried her face in his shoulder and silently vowed never to leave his side again.

"Oh Rose," the Doctor said gently. "I thought..." he trailed off as he decided not to speak.

Rose wiped away a stray tear and grinned widely as she looked at the Doctor's face. "Oh God," she half-sobbed, half-laughed. "I thought you were gone forever. I thought we were all gone forever."

The Doctor smiled at her and laughed. "You doubted me?"

"No! Of course not, but after Zach dragged me to that rocket, I thought...I thought it was all over." She shivered as she thought of what would have happened had she stayed in the base.

I couldn't save the Ood, he'd said. Only had time for one stop.

She silently hugged the Doctor closer as tears streamed down her face.

"If I'd been told," he whispered, "that you...stayed, Rose, I would 'ave..." he stopped suddenly and Rose could feel his muscles stiffen nervously. He stood up straighter and brushed a strand of hair from Rose's face, cupping her cheek gently in his hand, and turned to the TARDIS controls.

"You," he spoke louder now, "should definitely get some sleep. Almost got sucked into a black hole and killed by insane telepathic...noodly things; you must be exhausted."

Rose snorted at his description of the Ood, and nodded. "Alright. And what about you?"

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. "What about me?"

"You almost lost the TARDIS, almost got sucked into a black hole. Then you jumped into a big black pit with the Devil. I'd say you need more rest than I do," she replied, laughing.

He merely grinned at this, and shook his head, looking down at the console. "I'm fine, Rose." He pointed towards the doorway that led to countless other rooms, and said, "Sleep. Now, please. Doctor's orders," he grinned and winked at her.

Rose smiled and left, walking slowly to her room. She doubted she'd sleep much with the memory of Toby and the look in his eyes, his voice speaking the words of the beast. She shivered as she remembered his words about dying in battle.

The Doctor watched Rose leave, and when she was gone, he collapsed in a chair and held his head in his hands. He'd almost lost her. He promised to protect her, and she'd almost been sucked into a bloody black hole! His hands were shaking at the thought of losing her, and for the first time in a long time, he felt his eyes begin to water. Breathing in deeply, he ran his hands roughly over his face, brushing away the tears that had begun to grow in his eyes. He shook his head and stood up, tinkering with the TARDIS, pointlessly. He wasn't paying attention to that.

When Ida and Rose had switched places, Zach pulled him aside while Ida and Rose hugged each other tearfully, and told him what had happened after losing communications. How they'd had to put Rose to sleep and force her to leave that desolate, cold rock. She'd begged to stay, to wait for him, and Zach had taken her life as his responsibility and saved her. The Doctor was stunned. He thanked Zach profusely, hugging him and babbling on about how he was "absolutely fantastic, brilliant!"

In reality, he wanted to scream. If Rose had stayed, if she'd waited for him, she would not exist anymore. The black hole would have consumed her along with the Ood and the beast in the pit. The Doctor felt sick to his stomach.

He suddenly felt very tired, and sat back down in the chair, leaning back to look at the glowing ceiling of the TARDIS. He cleared his mind of all the dark thoughts flying about, with help from the TARDIS, of course, the glowing lights above relaxed him. She sang to him, the beautiful song of the TARDIS, and he fell asleep under the glowing lights.

_"...so far from home," the voice of the Beast growled through the screen. "The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon." An evil rumble arose from the mine shaft, a horrible, deep laughter, and Rose was alone. Jefferson and Danny and Toby were gone; the Doctor and Ida were down in that horrible hole in the ground._

"Doctor!" she screamed. Her lungs burned, yet the scream was little more than a whisper.

"Your Doctor is gone," a voice said behind her. Yet, it wasn't behind her. It was above her, below her, in front of and behind her. She crouched down and covered her head with her arms. She screamed silently. She heard nothing but the laughter of the beast.

"Such a brave little girl, traveling so far from home, aspiring to see the Universe. And are you pleased, little girl, with the things you have seen?" the voice growled. "You have seen so much, and nothing at all. And you won't see it, because soon, oh, so soon, you will be dead."

Rose uncovered her head and looked up, to see Toby, his face covered in the impossibly old letters of this horrible place, his eyes glowing red. Those eyes peered into her mind, reading her like a book. It shook her mind until every terrible memory and feeling had been brought to the forefront of her consciousness. It maddened her. She curled into a fetal position and cried, whimpering to herself, her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

"Doctor, help me, please," she cried.

"He's gone!" Toby roared, the Beast roared. "He's gone! You're alone!" That horrible laughter filled her ears, her mind; she thought she would die.

"Rose!" a voice called out to her from beyond the dark damned planet. "Rose!"

"Help me," she whispered, tears flowing freely down her face. "Please help me."


	2. Wisps and Watermelon Rain

"Help me," she whispered, tears flowing freely down her face. "Please help me."

"Rose," she heard, close to her now, right next to her. She felt his presence, his arms cradling her like a child. He stroked her hair with one hand, his lips pressed to the top of her head, kissing her gently and whispering to her. He rocked back and forth slightly, comforting her.

She woke up and lay silently for several minutes, gaining comfort from the feel of the Doctor holding her, his warm breath against her head.

"It's over," he whispered. "It's all over, Rose. You're safe now."

"Thank you," she said tearfully. "Thank you so much, Doctor." She wrapped her arms around him, and he held her until she fell asleep once more.

The next morning, the Doctor went to check on Rose, and found her still asleep, curled into a ball, with her arms protectively wrapped around herself. Her head was buried in her arms, and her hands were clenched into fists.

The Doctor frowned worriedly and sat down next to her. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she jolted awake with a tiny cry of fear. She looked at the Doctor and realized she had just awoken.

"S-Sorry," she said quietly. "I was just...had a dream," she mumbled.

"Rose Tyler," he said, smiling at her. "You have nothing to apologize to me for. You really are brilliant."

She smiled slightly. "Thanks," she replied. "Uhm...why?"

The Doctor shook his head slowly. "You just are." He held his hand to her, waggling his fingers slightly as he usually did when he wanted her to follow him.

She took his hand, smiling, and followed him to the front of the TARDIS. The Doctor quickly checked the readings, and with a bow and a sweeping wave of his arm, he invited her to step outside of the TARDIS.

The planet beyond the doors of the little blue box was beyond description. They were at the top of a tall hill, shaded from the gentle sunlight by a large tree reminiscent of a weeping willow. There were fluffy white clouds in the sky, and Rose saw as she squinted at them that they shimmered silver as they floated in the sky. The air around her was fresh and smelled of familiar things, flowers and rain and something from her childhood she couldn't recall. She stood still, gaping in awe at the place the Doctor had taken her to. She heard a sound like music, but it was like nothing she'd ever heard. The sound of it made her feel relaxed and happy, as if nothing had ever been wrong in her life. She looked around, searching for the source of it. She saw nothing around them, but her concern quickly vanished as she listened.

"Like it?" The Doctor had stepped out of the TARDIS to stand next to her. "It's a planet called-well, oh how was it said?" he muttered to himself. "Oh whatever it's called, I've never told anyone about it." He smiled widely at Rose. "Inhabited by little wispy fellows with no names or anything. They live in these trees like the one behind us, and do nothing but sing, all day." He looked completely content.

Rose smiled at him and entwined her fingers in his. "This is...wow," she breathed. "So that music, it's them? These wispy things?"

The Doctor nodded happily. "They feed on sunlight and rain, sort of like-- like, plants with brains. Their planet is so silent, no electromagnetic signals, no satellites or probes to attract anyone, and they're so far out of the way, no one ever bothers to come here."

Rose was silent, gazing out over the hills. "That's good, yeah?" She said silently. "No one can destroy this place..."

The Doctor nodded. "Exactly," he whispered, the sound almost carried away with the music of the wisps. He cleared his throat and said, "So, I thought this would be a good place to go after the–the last place. You know, take a break, stay out of trouble for a bit."

Rose grinned and hugged him tightly. "It's perfect," she said.

They spent days basking in the sunlight and listening to the singing of the wisps. The wisps seemed to stay away from them. Out of sight, anyhow. Rose thought she caught a glimpse of one, tiny and translucent. It floated in the air, and as she turned around to see it, it shimmered pink and purple and blue as it quickly darted away, into the weeping willow tree.

They rarely entered the TARDIS, preferring to sleep outside, under the expanse of dark blue sky, dotted with stars and three small moons. The temperature was constant, like a breezy summer afternoon, even during the nighttime. Rose slept through each night peacefully, and woke up refreshed, with no memory of anything she had dreamed during the previous night. The Doctor noticed that she was less tense, smiled more, and that made him smile.

It rained one night, and the Doctor and Rose ran outside, their mouths open to the sky to catch the sweet-tasting rain. They both laughed at nothing, laughing for the sake of laughing, and when they were soaked through their clothes, they entered the TARDIS, grinning like young children who had just played in the mud.

"Oh, you're completely soaked!" Rose laughed. "You look like you got thrown into the ocean, Doctor."

"Oi, you're not much better!" They both laughed openly, the only two people in existence, it seemed.

They playfully pushed each other as they walked down one of countless corridors in the TARDIS, completely at ease with everything and each other.

"So," the Doctor began, "how have you been enjoying this place?"

"Oh, it's amazing," Rose said excitedly, "I never would have imagined a place like this could exist, and yet here we two are, layin' in the sun and chasin' raindrops that taste like--like watermelon or something," she burst out laughing as she recalled the taste of the rain.

The Doctor leaned against a wall as she said this, watching her contentedly, some unknown emotion behind his eyes. He stepped towards Rose, placing a hand on her cheek and drawing her close to him. She looked into his eyes and her breath quickened slightly. She fell silent and simply stood in front of the Doctor, watching his eyes. He abruptly drew his gaze away, dropping his hand and blushing furiously.

He didn't know what had taken hold of him, why he had done it, and he was sure Rose would feel awkward. Before she had a chance to respond, he threw a smile onto his face and remarked, "Well! I'm wet and I feel like a drowned dog, so I think I'm going to head off to a shower and bed; wouldn't want to wake up in a pool of mud that tastes like chocolate or anything," he winked and quickly strode down the rest of the corridor. Rose stood by her door, watching him go, utterly baffled and confused.


	3. Stay With Her

In his bed, the Doctor lay awake, his head resting on his hands. He was not tired at all. In fact, there was so much activity in his head, it was difficult to lie still for more than ten minutes. He stood up and paced around the room, his hands in the pockets of his dressing gown. He tried to quell the feelings he was beginning to feel, no, the feelings he had had for quite some time, but to no avail.

Every so often, the thought crossed his mind that he had almost lost her to a black hole. How would he explain that to Jackie? '_Terribly sorry; I seem to have misplaced your daughter in a black hole_.' That would go over brilliantly with her, he thought grimly.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor and thinking, when he heard a knock at the door. "Yeah, Rose?" He called, and began to stand up. Rose opened the door, her eyes swollen and red; she'd been crying again.

The Doctor stood quickly and crossed the room to her. He pulled her into a hug and asked, "What is it? What's the matter?"

She shook her head, unable to speak. She raised a hand to her eyes and wiped away the tears. "It was–it was in my 'ead again," she said, her voice cracking. "It's dead, Doctor, why won't it go?" She sobbed uncontrollably.

The Doctor held her against his chest and quietly replied, "It's dead, Rose. The only thing that lives on is the idea of pure evil. That's all, an idea, a thought, a memory. If you believe in it, if you believe that something like that exists, then you're opening your mind to it, letting it bring you down." They said nothing for what seemed like forever, and the Doctor whispered, "What was it? What happened?" They walked to sit on the edge of the bed, Rose firmly holding onto the Doctor's hand.

"It was, I don't know. It was just...memories, I suppose. What it said to me, and...and what I was thinkin' while you were, you know, gone. In the pit," she stammered. "I was never so afraid in my life; I couldn' think, I just...I kept thinkin' about you, all alone in that hole with that beast. And the things it said in my nightmare, I just...I can't even say them; they're so terrible."

The Doctor took Rose's face in both of his hands and looked into her eyes. "That's all over, Rose. I promised I'd protect you, and you know I always will. I would never let anything happen to you. If you'd stayed on that base, I would have followed you into that black hole." His gaze was intense and looked right into her soul.

Rose bit her lip and blinked away fresh tears. "That's not what I--" she started, but cut herself off quickly.

The Doctor looked at her questioningly. She simply shook her head and made to leave, but he grabbed her hand, and she stopped.

"You know that, don't you?" He asked quietly. "You know–I would never leave you. And, if anything ever happened to you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I l-" he stopped and turned away from her.

"What?"

The Doctor's hearts were pounding. Why was he letting himself get so carried away? Nothing good could possibly come of this, nothing! He had never felt anything like this before. He shut his eyes for what seemed like an eternity, but was only a second or two. The beating of his hearts slowed to a steady thud against his ribcage, and he took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, sure," she said. "I think."

The Doctor stared at her with a lopsided grin on his face. "Don't lie," he said playfully, pulling her against him in a one-armed hug. She wrapped one arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head, and she pulled him closer with both arms wrapped around him.

"You can stay with me," he said softly.

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded against his chest. "Sure." Her voice was a whisper, barely audible.

Rose slept in his bed, wrapped in soft blankets and a fluffy comforter. She had fallen asleep as soon as her head fell to rest on the pillows, and the Doctor watched her sleep for a time, expecting her to wake up with a scream. She slept peacefully, so he silently got up to pace the endless halls of the TARDIS.

The TARDIS sensed his need to pace, and gave him long, straight hallways to wander. A million thoughts and memories rushed about his brain, but one above all persisted.

Rose. His Rose, almost swallowed and destroyed by a black hole. His lovely, beautiful Rose. How this young human girl had managed to take his mind and his hearts and turn them upside down, he did not know. From the moment he'd grabbed her hand in the basement of Henrik's, she'd been confounding him and making him question everything he did.

The Doctor stopped pacing when the hallway abruptly ended just outside his own bedroom. Apparently, the TARDIS thought his wandering should come to an end. He quietly pushed the door open and stepped into the dark room. He stepped silently to his bedside and gazed down upon his sleeping Rose. She had curled into the fetal position and her eyelids flickered rapidly; she frowned slightly. The Doctor lightly brushed a strand of hair out of Rose's eyes, and she flinched, whimpering softly in her sleep. Her hand rose to where he had touched her, brushing against his hand. Her touch sent a jolt of pins-and-needles up his arm, and he shivered.

"Rose Tyler," he murmured.

"Doctor," she mumbled.

He froze. Surely, she wasn't awake? She said his name again, and his hearts fluttered.

"Rose?" he whispered, hoping she wouldn't answer, that she'd fall back to sleep and he could continue wandering the corridors as if nothing at all was wrong.

She opened her eyes sleepily, looking up at him. There was a haunted look in her eyes; the Beast had visited her again. "I'm scared," she whispered. She reached for his hand, and her fingers were ice-cold.

"You're freezing!" he exclaimed, taking her hands in his and briskly rubbing them. "I'll find more blankets," he began.

"No, 'm fine, Doctor. Just...could you," she paused. "Could you maybe stay? With me?"

His eyes widened slightly at her request, but he nodded instantly. "Yeah, sure, of course I can," he stammered.

Rose shifted to the other side of the bed and the Doctor climbed into the bed next to her, pulling the blankets up to Rose's chin. He propped himself on an elbow and their eyes met. He smiled a goofy grin and said, "TARDIS slumber party, hey?"

Rose smiled, and for an instant, the haunted look left her eyes. She yawned widely and snuggled up to his shoulder. He tensed up, and she looked up at him, confused. "Somethin' wrong?" She shifted away from him and said, "You don't have to stay with me. I'll go -"

He placed a finger on her lips, throwing his worries to the wind and resolving to deal with them later. "Shh," he shushed her gently and pulled her to his chest, resting his hand on her lower back. She draped her arm over his waist and sighed contentedly.

He held her until she fell asleep, then let his eyes drift shut to sleep, their breaths falling into a slow, synchronised rhythm.


End file.
